If you love what is in the way 

it will transform. 

~ Richard Schwartz

The Stories I'm Gathering + Why:

Stories Change Our Thinking


Domestic violence is an epidemic. And while we've made many strides in the movement against domestic violence, there are many areas of life touched by this experience that we still don't talk about much. 

The majority of our focus, as a society, centralizes around ending relational abuse and violence, and helping victims find safety. Understandably so. Yet there are other areas of our lives touched by these experiences which are talked about far less and deserve to be further explored. Namely, the journey onward into life after abuse, and the many ways that it can be made more complicated for survivors. 

The lived experience of domestic violence does not end when the abuse or violence ends. The lives that survivors live going forward can be profoundly complicated by their histories, and seldom more so than in the arena of love, dating and intimacy. 

I am exploring this segment of life by interviewing survivors who have traveled the long and complicated road from abuse recovery into healthy, secure intimate relationships. I have chosen to work in this area of inquiry for two reasons.


First, we will all do well to better understand how the aftermath of abuse influences survivors. By holding better-informed space for people whose experiences we can't understand firsthand we can make the world a kinder place.


Second, and perhaps more urgently, I believe that the stories of people who have gone on to find healthy love after abuse *shine great light* into the dark space of victims who are struggling to find their way out. After having worked with survivors and victims for several years, I have come to believe that part of being trapped in an abusive union is the inability to visualize a different outcome. To paint a hopeful picture of one's own future beyond abuse. 

I am interested in painting this picture, of telling the stories of survivors who haven't just made it out, but who have made it beyond the baseline of safety into a space of trusting, solid, fulfilling love with a safe, secure partner. In doing so, I believe that a world of possibility can open up to help all people better understand and to help victims become survivors in love. 

If you have abuse in your history, which is 5 or more years in your past, and if you are a year or more into a secure intimate relationship, you may be a good fit to interview for this project. If interested, please email me using the link above and share with me a bit about why you'd like to be involved. 

Thanks in advance for your time. I hope to hear from you.